Contentment

I have been thinking a lot about contentment these last few weeks. I have been amazed at how content I have become since the twins entered my world.

Webster’s dictionary defines contentment as the quality or state of being contented; the feeling or showing of satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation.

Naturally, contentment was paired with our own self-contentment (or self-satisfaction).

I’m a bit embarrassed to say that a little prior to the twins entering my life, I had started struggling to feel content with my life. I had started concentrating too much energy on looking to tomorrow, to the next big goal in my life, to what I would buy with my next paycheck, to thoughts of eventually building a house, to our next vacation trip….

But with time I discovered that such feelings don’t always end in a bad result, because in thinking through my thoughts and realizing the root of them, I began to understand that it wasn’t material possessions that I felt were missing in my life, it was our precious sweethearts that we now have.

It’s funny to me how God helps to prepare us for our next steps in life IF we allow him to. And more than that, how he doesn’t necessarily always give us our exact desires, but rather situations in which to develop these desires. For example, I prayed for patience (in general) for two years, and then God gave us twins. :) There is definitely some humor in that.

So why not simply be content with where we are in our lives? And if we aren’t content, then why not take time to process through the roots of our discontentment and to make changes as needed? I associate my level of contentment with my current relationship with God, so when I begin to feel discontent about something, I discern that my Christian walk needs a little work.

During the last few months, I have discovered a whole new level of contentment. It’s funny how a 4 month year old can teach you a thing or two. I find contentment in the smiles I receive when I scoop up one of our babies when they are moving around in their sleep and are ready to eat. I find contentment in the smell of Johnson’s lotion and baby powder. I find contentment in six sterilized bottles ready for the next round of feedings. I find contentment in watching Billy IV scrunch himself in a ball and get ready to roll over. I find contentment in hearing Brooklyn “talk to the fish” on her baby swing.

Thank you God for the level of contentment you have provided me with through our twins. Here’s to finding contentment in the little things!

Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

A little here and there

If how long it has been since I last blogged is any indication of how busy we have been since the birth of our twins, then my last blog being at 8 months pregnant should give you some sort of indication. :) While I don’t have time to recap each and every detail over the last 5 months (for fear I would never catch up to the present), I will recount the most memorable and meaningful moments over the last several months, starting on the day our twins entered into this world. Well, maybe just a little bit before then...

The last 4 weeks of my pregnancy with the twins were incredibly busy. We had baby showers three weekends in a row (October 24th, October 30th, and November 7th - my birthday). We are truly lucky to have family and friends that are so loving and generous, and I don’t think we would make it without them! During the last two weeks of my pregnancy I gained over 10 lbs in water weight, my blood pressure elevated, my platelet levels plummeted (from 130 million to 100 million-we needed at least 100 million for me to be able to have the c-section and to not have to be put to sleep for the birth of the twins), and I went to the bathroom, oh, about 30 times a day. haha Each time I would get up from the couch I would moan and groan (not of complaint) but because it was literally that hard for me to get up with how round my belly had gotten. Each time I would get up, Billy would look over with a concerned look and say “Babe, are you okay?” It was so funny! :)

So now let’s move on to the more important stuff.

-November 18th 2010-
On the morning of 11/18/2010, I knew the lives of Billy and I were about to change forever. I woke up extra early and grabbed a shower, then finished packing my hospital bag (just in case), and we headed to our 34 wk 5 day appointment. I told Billy he should go ahead and get his, to which he replied “Ah, if I were to need it I could always grab it later.” Mom to be tried to tell dad to be ready but I don’t think he was expecting everything to happen that day. At my appointment, the nurse checked my weight and I had gained an additional 3-4 lbs in water weight the last week. Then my doctor came in and said I had started dilating and that she thought “today was the day.” It’s hard to describe the amount of excitement, joy, and nervous energy I felt at that time. I could tell daddy-to-be was a little shocked that it was time! I called my family in Arab and we headed to Maury Regional. At the hospital, they got us into a room on the OB floor and hooked me up to the monitors to check on the twins. The babies were bouncing all over the place (they have always been good movers) and I could tell they were getting ready for their début. Before we knew it, our family had arrived and it was time!

I will never forget the birth of our babies. It is still surreal to think about and is forever etched in my mind. I remember taking the walk to the delivery room with a nurse by my side. I remember looking down at my bright yellow hospital socks (they were unforgettable) as they put my spinal tap in. I remember the nurse holding my head in her arms to help me stay relaxed. I remember saying a prayer that the babies and I would be okay. I remember the anesthesiologist rubbing my forehead and talking me through the next series of events. I remember Billy walking around the delivery table and holding my hand while asking if I was okay. I remember the doctor telling me it was time to begin. I remember the doctor saying I had a belly full of babies…

….And then I remember hearing the sweetest, most gentle sound I have ever heard. Little Brooklyn had made her arrival! She voiced her hello as they brought her around for me to see. As she rounded the corner, I could tell she sensed where mommy was as she gazed in my direction.

Then it was precious Billy IV’s turn.

I remember the doctor laughing as Billy kicked away when she went to deliver him. He wasn’t quite ready for his exit. Then I remember hearing yet another sweet, gentle cry from our baby boy. Before I knew it, I had two babies wrapped up and laying at my side. Billy was softly sleeping and Brooklyn Rose was blowing bubbles for me while humming about her experience.

Brooklyn Rose was born at 6:49 PM and weighed 5 lbs 7 oz. Billy IV was born at 6:50 PM and weighed 5 lbs 13 oz.

The amount of love I felt at that time was almost overwhelming. It is the same amount of love I feel today, and it seems that with each passing moment it grows that much more. There in the delivery room it was as though I had a whole new chamber that had opened in my heart that was completing overflowing with love, joy, compassion, and devotion to our babies. I have never felt God working more closely in my life then in that moment.

Initially they thought both babies were completely healthy and would be just fine on their own, but after a few days Billy IV was placed in the NICU due to having eating and digestion difficulties. It was incredibly difficult to see him hooked up to the IV and monitors that enabled the doctors and nurses to keep a watchful eye on him. At first they thought he would have to be transported to Vanderbilt, but within a matter of a couple of days he made a complete turn around and began eating increasing amounts of food. At first he was only able to keep down 1 of 7 ccs (30 ccs is an oz), but within a few days he was keeping 30 ccs and then 45 ccs down. I am so thankful that we have a God that loves us and watches over us and took care of our Billy at that time.

The twin’s date of birth is of huge sentimental value to me. 11/18 is my Maw Sutton’s birthday. She was my great grandmother and passed away several years ago, but I always adored her as a child and felt extremely close to her. More than that, she was responsible for raising my mother in the church and who I have to thank for my faith and involvement with the church. Maw Sutton was watching over us that day and the moment I learned it was her birthday I immediately relaxed because I knew everything would be okay.

-Now back to the present-
The last few months have been a whirlwind. Between waking every 3 hours to feed each baby for the first six weeks, to changing 16 diapers a day, to cuddling and rocking our sweethearts gently to sleeo, and taking time for each other, Billy and I have been very busy. The babies have just begun sleeping in their cribs and they are doing such a great job. The last two nights they have slept from 12:00 PM until 6:00 AM and then went back to sleep until 9:30 AM or so. It is AMAZING. Billy rolled over at 4 months, 1 day and Brooklyn Rose rolled over at 4 months, 3 day. Billy is continuously rolling all over the place and Brooklyn rolls over “when she sees the need to.” I am excited to see that they are reaching developmental milestones around the same time but I also realize they are their own person and will each do things when they get ready. We have such good babies and they are such a blessing to us. I am so thankful for them and will never take these precious gifts for granted. So there we are…a recap of the past 4-5 months! Now let’s see how long I can keep this blog updated…